Monday, June 30, 2003
hi... had a gd time again with feli today. well as always la...
i really miss her now and i dunno how long i can handle b4 seeing her again.hehe...
tmr i got maths paper sia. quite scary but then again im not tt scared. its just maths for gods sake. wat do i have to be scared about? i also dunno... haiz..
really miss feli sia... haiz... i also dunno wat going on btw us sometimes. i wonder wat she is thinking in her head sia. do u think she feels the same way? i also dunno. i dun want to think about it. now im just making do with the situation n the limits she is allowing me. i feel like kissing her all the time but i dun want to do anything rash n stupid just cos im feeling lusty. urgh! oh well... i miss holdingher hand. i am seeing her tmr.. kk.. cool... maintain maintain... urgh... dunno how long i can last w/o actually kissing her. she is so cute. urgH!!!!!!
and i must stop it with my silly jealousy. she talks about someone in a nice way only i jealous. like i feel like they are competition like tt. i guess its scary la. u so scared u lose the person tt u get worried abt everything. why am i so scared i will lose her aah?? am i learning from past mistakes?? past mistakes is also holding me back. preventing me from telling her how i feel. but i know...deep deep down in me.. no matter wat anyone says... she just thinks of me as her fren. tts alll... or else why wld she be checking out guys in front of me all..n she still wants to find a guy for herself... so yah..she's str8. so str8. so i shld just enjoy this moments tt we have with each other. n soon this infatuation will pass... i hope.. pls let it pass!!!!!! pls... pls... pls... pls... pls... im begging u... urgH!!!!!!
i am not in love with feli.
--insignificant lies--
3:01 am
